My cousin Casey and I just spent about 7 hours playing Ocarina Of Time. 7 hours straight! We got to the weird fish dungeon, and got pissed off, so we stopped. If it weren't the most annoying place on the planet we'd probably still be playing. lol

Anyways...on Tuesday I FINALLY nailed an interview with this compay called Signal (call center, not sales) that I've been trying to get a job at since October or November. I had to take 2 tests, one was a teaching sim, the other a call sim, and I passed both. I also did VERY well with the interview, and my friend Jason who works there seems sure that I'll get hired. If so, I'll start Monday. I am supposed to hear back from them by Friday, otherwise I was told to call them. Thats seems pretty good, right?

Oh yeah, Wal-Mart never called back by the way.

So I think only Hylas really reads my LJ (well Emily does but I blog more on MySpace and she reads those, too), so I'm thinking of not even using it anymore. I mean, I will use the account to read Emily's and Hylas' blogs, but thats it. So unless you are not Hylas and you're reading this and want to continue to read it, please let me know. Otherwise I will just talk to Hylas on MSN, lol.

Peace!

Lots of stuff to say in this beezy!

Last night I had an interview at 10 at Wal-Mart (different one from before). It was for the night shift, which is why the interview was so late. Anyways, after the interview I was told I did very well, and that they'll be contacting me. And I was given the list of acceptable documents for proof of identity. So I'm pretty sure I got it!

I'm not really sure exactly what position I'll be in, I think cashier. And it'll be overnights obviously. Which I am dreading...working overnight is crap. But at least I will be making money, and they seemed like they'd be flexible with my schedule, so maybe I can get short shifts. Like, 10-4 or something. That'd only be a little later than I stay up anyway, lol.

And I may not have to work there very long. My friend Jason thats been trying to get me a job where he works (at that call center) said they're getting ready to start hiring English-speaking people soon. So I am gonna go there today possibley. Anyways, that'd be a better job, and easier job, a day job, and an Albany job. And I'd have a friend there, lol.

They opened a Sonic about 20 miles away from me! Yay! I love Sonic, and they don't have a lot of them here, like they do in Missouri. Just a little bit of home in my new home. ^_^

I will spare you the six paragraph story and just get straight to the point; Jeremy and I are back together! We're both more happy and in love than ever before. And we're both made changes for the better in our lives. Sweet, sweet nectar!

My life right now is like a monkey with diarrhea sitting under a fan. It seems like everyday "the crap hits the fan". Just a constant slew of crap fanning around the room because the monkey won't stop frigging throwing it.

Me and my cousin Casey both live here with my grandparents. We both had jobs for awhile but don't right now (and in both cases its not our fault). My grandpa is a workaholic, and so this bothers him. Hes always complained and lectured me about getting a job, even though I've been trying as hard as I can for 5 months now, and no one seems fit to hire me. For some reason he doesn't realize this, and thinks I just sit on my ass at home all day doing nothing. Yes, I am sitting on my ass, but I'm on the computer combing through every website that offers jobs in this area. I spent 6 hours looking for and applying for/emailing my resume to about a million different employers. I applied for any job that I am even partially qualified for. Today I'm doing the same thing. There are not many jobs out now, and I am applying for every single one. He still complains at me, but now hes complaining at my cousin more. He even said that I was doing better before Casey moved in. While that might be the case, its just coincidence. Hes constantly on Casey's back now, so Casey thinks grandpa hates him now. Anyone who has ever lived with someone who they felt didn't like them knows how this goes. Its not easy.

So thats whats going on now. He just goes on and on, criticizing us both for not working, when we're both trying our asses off. I'm like "WE DON'T REALLY NEED ADDED STRESS RIGHT NOW, KTHNX!"

Though my grandma has been getting her strength back the past few days, we're all still REALLY stressed, with no break in sight. =/

I'll spare you the "what I want in a man" part of my MySpace and just go ahead and paste this part... ^_^

I’m considering becoming Unitarian (though not hardcore, I’ll prly just use it as a title because everyone has to have one). I’m beginning to believe that God is not just God. I was thinking about how Christians think they heard God, but so do a lot of other people in other religions. So, if there is only one god, who are those other people hearing? And don’t give me that "oh its Satan!" crap, because if Buddha was actually Satan, why would Buddhists be known for their peacefulness? Its the same with other religions, but I thought Buddha was the best example. I mean obviously Satanists are hearing Satan, but thats different. At any rate, I’ve formed a theory that God is not only the Christian God, but a lot of other Gods, too. And with religions like Shintoism, with multiple gods, are the same. God just appears in different shapes and forms, because hes God and can do whatever He wants. I think He does it because of the diversity we have in our cultures. Middle eastern people wouldn’t follow the American God. And us Americans wouldn’t follow Buddha, because we’re all obsessed with being thin and having full heads of hair. And English people wouldn’t follow Shiva because they’d look at her and think she was a witch, or she was improper because she has like 6 arms. And again, Satanism IS Satan, because I believe there can’t be a being of pure Good without a being of pure Evil. We’re all good and evil, everyone with their own combination, so there has to be a solid, full form of each. Anyway, another reason there are so many forms of God is because we all have free will. It doesn’t make sense if we’re given free will, but really can only follow one god if we want to go to Heaven. I think we’re given a choice. And as for Agnosticism and Atheism, thats a choice available, too. I think that depending on what religion you choose, you’ll go to that form of Heaven if you follow the guidelines for going to Heaven. What it really comes down to is being an excellent dude during your life.

I'm not really sure about people who don't believe in Heaven, though. I guess maybe they don't go? I don't have all the answers obviously, no one does. I think people should believe what they want instead of being pressured to believe what everyone wants them to. And I think its ok, if asked a question about your religion, to say "I don't know". Why should you have to have an opinion about everything, or know everything about something you've chosen to believe? Its really not their business, and they shouldn't be criticizing you.

And if you don’t know, Unitarianism is the tolerance of all religions and beliefs.

And if I’m wrong, oh well. All religion is a guess, and no one will know whats true and whats not until they die, when its too late to change your mind.

Some of you may be thinking "But what about the Bible?" The Bible was written by human beings who followed the Christian god. Of course they’re gonna write "Have no other gods", because anyone in almost any religion wants everyone else to believe what they believe.

Anyway...I feel good. Sorry that was so long!

P.S. How appropriate! My blog about religion is accompanied by a Spice Girls icon! XD

The last couple weeks have been the most stressful in my entire life.

My Grandma is doing ok, but her doctor apparently thinks that the ALS has progressed fast and my Grandma is probably further down the line than we all had hoped. A few of us family members are pretty sure shes had this for at least a year before being diagnosed with it, so obviously going a year (or more) without treatment is...well, not good. Its depressing but we're all trying to make the most of the time we have.

Easter most of the family came over here, and we ate a smallish dinner and hunted eggs in the rain. We took about 5000 pictures, including a big family picture with Grandma. She wasn't able to get up and walk around and socialize with people, but she was sitting in a room that had a good view of the front porch and yard, which is where a lot of the goings on were going on. I'll prly post some pics later.

My parents and siblings flew out here late Friday night, and are here till early Sunday morning. Its been really awesome being able to see them again. I miss them a lot.

Also, I dumped Jeremy yesterday. Long story short I don't have the energy or emotional capacity for a boyfriend right now. He understood, I think. We'll see.

And I'm still not sure about the home care worker stuff. I mean, I really want to do it, but I don't know how to go about doing it. If all else fails I am going to (or try to at least) get a part time job during the day. I'm REALLY gonna need income, because my Grandpa is gonna switch from working nights to days, so he'll loose hours and income, and I'll need to help with bills and groceries.

Anyway, lots going on. *dies*

This morning I walked into the hospital, convinced that everything was ok, and this was just another hospital visit my Grandma had to make because of her eating problems (she can almost not swallow at all). On our way there my Grandma called my Grandpa (I was riding with him), and my Grandpa said she was talking a lot better. So my convincing was furthered. She was already starting to get better.

As soon as I walked in her room, I realized that my Grandpa meant better than she did yesterday. Her talking ability was worse than ever. I still continued to tell myself that the doctors would be able to fix it, and she'd be home within the next day or two.

Soon after that the doctor pulled the grown-ups aside and spoke to them outside my room. I thought nothing of it at the time. Then later my aunt took me out of the room and told me the news.

Its still not really confirmed, but they're nearly positive she has Lou Gehrig's Disease (or ASL). If you don't know what this is, its basically a fatal condition thay damages your nerves to the point that they don't work anymore. It then atrophies your muscles, and then shuts down your brain, and you die. Some "victims" of ASL have lived for 15 - 20 years after being diagnosed, and some only 6 months. There is no way of telling how long the patient has to live.

Its been a long, hard day. I got about 4 hours of sleep last night, and I actually lost my voice for over an hour from crying so much. No one saw this coming, no one was prepared for our grandmother/mother/sister/wife to be suddenly and fataly ill. No one is ready and everyone is scared.

On a (sort of) lighter note, I now know I was meant to come back. Everyone all day has been telling me that my Grandma has a special place for me in her heart. We are close, and all day I've been hearing how blessed and happy everyone is that I am here for this whole ordeal. It makes me feel really good. For the first time in my life I know I am where I am supposed to be.

Anyway...I should say something positive now. I ate at Hasty Freeze today, and they have really good food.

Also, though the circumstances are extremely depressing, this is really revealing the teamwork my family has. We have our problems but when it comes to something serious, its nice to know we can all grow up and take care of someone we all love.

I'm thinking of doing the whole in home medical care training, so I can help my Grandma and get paid to do it (by the state). Then I won't have to worry about getting a job.

Sunday Jeremy and I got to go to the beach! Click here to see pics!

I'm only getting $400, not $650+. I dunno where I got that number, lawls.

Again, I don't update this very often...

ANYWAY, my cousin/one of my best friends is PREGNANT! I am very excited for her, because her and her husband have been trying for awhile. And also, the world needs more good parents.

Other than that my life is the same. I have no money, no job, and bills to pay.

BUT on Valentine's Day my lovely sweet boyfriend gave me a bass guitar (a REALLY nice one) and amp! They're his from like 5 years ago when he attempted to learn, but it was still a big thing for me (and everyone else, apparently). Hes amazing.

AND my Grandma doesn't want me to pay her back for the camera, because it was an accident. And of course I am now and forever will be broke. Its something I've come to terms with. I'll never own a new car or a house, and more than likely will never live in one of those "nice and safe" neighborhoods, like North Albany, or...well no where in Salem, really.

Anyway, that was depressing.

I've been trying to file my taxes online but am having no luck, so I'm just gonna have to do it the old fashioned way and wait 6-8 weeks for the $650+ I so desperately need.

My Grandpa bought a truck. His big old truck is...well being used for awhile now, his van is being used (sometimes shared), and the van he just bought is shitting out already. So he bought a 2000 Chevy two-seater S-some number. Its cute. My point to this all is that hopefully I can buy his van, which he paid $300 for, so I'm hoping to get the same kind of deal. I don't want a van but I figure I could put it up for trade on Craigslist or something.

Anyway...I use that word a lot. Tomorrow is my last day cleaning house for Jeremy's grandma. I actually really liked that job. I'm sad. Plus the check was supposed to come Tuesday and still has not. Baaaaaaaaaah WHY DOES KARMA HATE ME!?

Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to hang out with Emily, though. And we can work on our new album. So that will cheer me up.

Heehee, shes pregnants!

Other than my own mother I have no memory of anyone close to me having a baby (and even then my memory is pretty vague), so its gonna be interesting, I think. I can get all the lowdown from her on what to expect. Or at least partially, since everyone's pregnancy is different and I don't really think anyone can engage in it fully prepared.

Well thats enough from me. I'd say I'll try to update this more, but who am I kidding?

WELL GUESS WHAT.

I started the Day In My Life thing, and was really excited about it, and then my Grandma's $250+ camera was broken. I don't know how, but I have to buy her a new one now. Well, I don't have to, but it'd be polite to.

And I'm sick and have a tooth coming in. Bleh. ;_;

But I'd be more sad if I hadn't seen Juno this afternoon. That movie was REALLY good!

And thats all I have to say about that.

Well, my week has been snow, work, snow, snow, work. Its been pretty cool.

I got to hang out with a friend I haven't seen in like...two years on Thursday. It was a lot of fun. And tonight was Jeremy's mom's birthday party, which was also a lot of fun!

Thats really all I have to say. Boring, I know. But tomorrow I am gonna do a Day In My Life thing that Emily did. Its where you take pics of stuff you do throughout the day. Look forward to that! I COMMAND IT!

( Here are some snow pics! )

I got a temporary job! It'll only be for a month, and only 3 hours a day, but its $10 an hour. Jeremy's Grandma was in a car accident, and can't do housework, so her insurance company is gonna pay non-family members to do it for her. And I'm one of the non-family members, obviously.

So I will be able to pay my own cell phone bill for this month, I can have Netflix back for a little while, and I'll have a little spending money! I haven't had spending money since Halloween!

I'm also gonna register to vote (which I really don't want to but need to for the reason I am about to mention) so I can get my Oregon driver's license, and then be an Oregon citizen so I can apply for the Oregon Health Plan, which is FREE insurance!

AND I'm gonna do my taxes early and get my refund hopefully in time for my next cell phone bill and more Netflix!

So yeah, I'm really excited!

Well, still no job, and none of that other stuff I blogged about has happened, either.

I'm pretty depressed. I REALLY need money.

Jeremy's Grandma was in an accident recently, and her insurance company said they'd pay a non-family member $30 a day to do housework. Its a temporary thing, but I'm considering it.

I applied at a few places and no one is calling me. It really does nothing for my already low self esteem.

*sigh*

And it is soooooooo cold outside.

WOO. The pain in my mouth is almost completely gone! Thank you for your prayers!

I went to my interview Wednesday, and the guy that was supposed to interview me wasn't even there. So some other lady did it, and she was extremely unenthusiatic with the questions. I just kept thinking "WOW. You are really making me want this job. JAY KAY!"

And, since I'm not good at disciplining kids I don't know, I've become too nervous to apply at the Boys' and Girls' club.

Saturday I'll be in town, so I'm gonna go around getting apps and applying at various places. I really need a job...;_;

But hey, Jeremy lent me seasons 1 and 2 of Star Trek: The Next Generation! So awesome!

Wednesday I got to play Rock Band at a friend's house (DnD got cancelled) along with another friend and Jeremy. Now I have another reason to need a job. That game is WAY better than Guitar Hero! I like the drums, but I suck at it. And the singing part is fun, if you know the song. Otherwise, its pretty ridiculous.

And apparently at one point earlier in his life Jeremy attempted to learn bass guitar, so he just so happens to have a bass amp he is willing to lend to me! I'm really excited, and so is Casey (I've been trying to teach him how to play but its hard when you can't hear it).

I really need to try to get to bed at a more decent time. I've been getting up at noon for the past week, and today I didn't wake up until 1. Its not really a big deal except that I feel really lazy and groggy when I sleep in too late.

I'm having some possibley serious health probelms (AGAIN!). My jaw-muscle (I think) is swollen and INCREDIBLY sore. I can barely open my mouth, swallow, and its getting to where I can barely talk. It started as just a pain I thought was a canker (sp?) sore, and now is a pain in a fourth of my face and half my neck.

Still no job, so no money, so no health insurance, so no doctor-visiting. This is bad! *is trying not to have another breakdown*

Well I have an interview at Carl's Jr (fast food, bleh) on Wednesday. And Jeremy just got hired at the Boys' And Girls' Club, and I have another friend who works there, and they said they still need people to supervise the teens. I think it'd be a great job if I could get it.

EVERYBODY PRAY PLEASE!

;_;

I'd cook quesadillas for Conalizza Rice, just because!

( Survey from Emily )

I was inspired by an entry my cousin Emily posted wherein she reviewed an LJ entry from January 2007, and decided to do the same! Well, not exactly the same. I'm just reading them and commenting here.

I forgot all about this, but my life goal at the beginning of last year was to get a van and live in it. WTF?

Then there are all these entries about loving my job at Wal-Mart. Ohhhh that was interesting.

I also said "I started reading "The Time Machine" by H.G. Wells today. Its been a long time since I've read anything, and I decided I wanted to, and wanted something besides Star Wars. So I picked it up. Its like 140 pages, so hopefully I actually finish it." I think I read 3 pages.

Other than that, I still get randomly sick, I've had a few other dreams about meeting celeberties that I like, I'm not pre-engaged anymore, I still have an awesome boyfriend, but its a different guy, I never became a UFO Investigator, I never got a grim reaper tattoo, and I live in a different state.

Woo?

Happy New Year!

I had a great Christmas, other than some emotional drama I'm giving myself that doesn't matter.

I got some awesome stuff.

Mario Party 8
Raving Rabbids 2
A Wiimote
An AWESOME blanket that is the softest I've ever felt
Pirates Of The Carribbean
Out Cold
A new Ducks shirt
A notebook, pens, and colored penicils
A giftcard to a gaming shop
Some really awesome smelling organic body mist, lotion, and shower gel

And some other stuff. I don't feel like making a big list.

Anyway, what did everyone else get?

Lol three weeks gone again...

Anyway, housesitting was awesome, but after a few days I got really lonely, so I ended up leaving early.

Christmas is almost here! It still doesn't even feel like Christmas to me, but that could be the lack of freshly baked Christmas goods every day.

I joined two other games besides DnD, and thats a lot of fun.

And I'm still unemployed. But I sold my Xbox and my digital camera, so it hasn't been too bad yet.

And thats...really all I have, lol. My MySpace blog is so much better than this...Sorry!

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In November I stole invad0r's purse (-30 points). In June I helped expect_life across the street (6 points). In August I turned callmecalmly in for eating carbs (3 points). In October I bought porn for inturnal_bleedi (10 points). In April blue_wizard and I robbed a bank (-50 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-61 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich! Sincerely, childofprayer

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

Where does that even come from? And why isn't Emily's new name in it? Ah well. I was bored.

I've decided to sell some of my less used (and less liked) electronics for Christmas/cell phone bill/gas money. Hopefully that works out well. Also, I've got a friend thats gonna try to hook me up with a job tomorrow. Hopefully that works out, too!

The Bickles (hehe) are going to Disneyland this Saturday - Wednesday, and I get to housesit! I'm not getting paid but I get an apartment to myself and an Xbox 360 for like 5 days. Plus every movie thats ever come out on DVD. Oh yeah baby! NO SLEEP!

Also, I'm changing my Christmas list. But thats really not important, so I'm gonna stop.